PJ Lifestyle: 5 Secret Conservative Messages Hidden in Angry Birds: But here’s a few of the things you can learn flipping birds at pigs:
1. It’s not nice to steal what other people produce. The pigs are the villains because they take the birds’ eggs. Could the symbolism be any clearer? Pigs = Government. Eggs = The Productions of the Productive. Ayn Rand couldn’t have said it better — except maybe in her brilliant scene where a boomerang myna bird flies backwards into a beach ball.
2. When in doubt, turn to the wisdom of those who’ve gone before. If you want to score three stars on every level and pick up the golden eggs, sooner or later, you’re going to have to consult YouTube. It’s what we Angry Birders have instead of the Federalist Papers.
3. Doing the same thing over and over will produce the same results. In the immortal words of the exploding blackbird: “Don’t just keep hurling the same bird at the same spot. What doesn’t work doesn’t work. It’s exactly like socialism because… KA-BOOM!” The guy never finishes a sentence.
4. Destroy the foundation and everything else collapses. Clearly a veiled reference to the Obama administration’s repeated unconstitutional usurpations of power and its disregard for American practice and tradition. Also a good technique for getting a series of traffic cones to topple a wooden beam bringing down a stone castle.
5. The anchors of the network news media have degenerated into dishonorable liars. I think this is obvious. Just stop playing Angry Birds for a few minutes and watch their shows.
Well, I could go on, but I have to get back to work. A group of pigs (government) has stolen the eggs (money) from some birds (productive citizens) and I have to start hurling bodies at them in order to bring down their elaborate but essentially useless structures and restore the land to liberty.
That was the great Andrew Klavan. And yep, you just have read it. Here's a few other lessons:
6. Persevere: there is another way to win the level. Just keep trying.
7. Hard work bring rewards: Once you've figured out how to beat a tricky level, only practice will bring you to the next level. Knowledge is only half of the battle.
8. Don't lose sight of your enemies. But if you just can't stand their sneering and bickering, just mute them and keep on going. You will prevail.
9. Keep your eyes on the goal: Once you get there, you can work out the fine tuning, i.e. working to get the three stars in each level.
10. Try not to rely on the special features: they are scarce resources and they don't guarantee anything you can achieve by yourself.
Aaaa-júa!
