Showing posts with label michael jackson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label michael jackson. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

A-Holes of the Year 2010

In no particular order of appeareance, Dr. sipmac will post for the second time at the sipmac ensemble blogs a well-deserved scorn-a-thon of a few of the undisputed gaffetastic a-holes of this year. Without further ado:
I didn't fool you, I'm for real!
Helen Thomas: she alone could close the list. She could have made a gaffe months ago, but now, she committed proffessional suicide by proclaiming she's not only anti-Israel but anti-semitic, too. She must be a hundred years now, and she should know by now a lot better; but, let's face it: by gender she must have been a pioneer, but by political views, she must have been from stone age. Yes, indeed.
Annie, are you ok?
Joe Jackson: if there was anything clear in Michael Jackson's mind, it must have been the role of his father, Joe Jackson, which finally lost his last chance in the Michael Jackson's Last Will Jackpot. Now he rants and rants, but nobody believed him from the very start. Michael Jackson could have been anything, but he did finally screw him.
I'm as good in real life!
Charlie Sheen: I wish I could post him as my year's hero, but now I wonder how is possible that his hit sitcom, based loosely in his personal life, finds new life in a eight season, after a lot of turmoil, in spite of his personal behavior, I cannot do something else that nominate him as one best optioned to be one this years' leading a-holes. Way to go, Charles! Two years in a row! Speaking of which...
Don't be afraid!
Barack Obama: no matter what he says, he's more deluded than Carter and Bush combined. The one and only to understand that his own party shellacking has more to do with his lack of communication (ilack of communication in a rethorical giant?) than bad policies executed along the last two years. Anyway, you just say "I blame Bush!"
The Formoltv plaintiff: he or she should have known better. If s/he have read the entire blog, s/he should have find out what the blog was all about, and not only about them. S/he should have learn the webowners were lawfully experienced. Quite a winner!
I'm such a badass!
Julian Assange: Pul-eeze! He should have known better! Time's Person of the Year? He was fighting not only against the United States of America, but the reat of the civilized (and diplomatized) World. Now that he's experiencing some difficulties, now he's menacing about some sort of "doomsday device", like a vulgar terrorist. Puh-leeze, man up an publish anything you have, you moron, you a-hole!
Unity in the midst of diversity! Hah!
The European Union: the welfare state is collapsing, thanks to them, and the European Union is collapsing thanks to the irresponsible politics carried on for almost four generations.
This years' finalists: Hugo Chávez - years and years of stupidity and a-holeness, Álvaro Uribe - a newcomer via twitter, now he does not find out that his schtick is not interesting anymore now he's not a president.
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Thursday, September 17, 2009

Beatles Catalog (Finally) Remastered – A satiric Beatles-wordplay-and-puns-free assessment

On September 9th, 2009, the entire Beatles original catalog was released to an always avid target: three loyal generations of Beatlemaniacs and unsuspecting buyers we could qualify as collateral damage. As we saw with the 2006 released Love, we could appreciate in the documentary how difficult it was to the producers to come up with decent mashups, even with the entire same catalog at disposition (Yeah, sure. Just look out for Beatles’ mashups in Youtube. Start with Paperback Believer). With this in mind we can infer how difficult it was the remastering of every single song released in the 13 official albums with the singles and EP original material without botching it.

Because it doesn’t matter how many times the marketing team ends up not with a bang but with a wimp: the original songs remained the same. Until now. With such a task, the EMI engineering team, supervised by none others than Paul, Yoko, Olivia and Ringo, worked 4 years straight… until they could not hear a Beatle song anymore. First they searched for similar experiences around the world. Finally, in Colombia they bought the 1998-produced 30 Grandes Exitos – Diomedes Díaz and the original albums. After carefully (and for most of them, painfully) listening, they knew then what to do exactly with the Beatles catalog:

* First, suppress all chat and greetings to zero. Otherwise the recordings get too mundane instead of classy. Since Let It Be… Naked was released in November 2003, people would know already what to expect. Oh! Sorry What Goes On Website, your work is not needed anymore.

* Get rid of embarrassing out-of-tune performances! That means you, Hold Me Tight! Ole Paul was literally forced to re-record the With the Beatles’ track entirely with the early technology and sing correctly this time. When he protested, George Martin said: “You saw this coming from 46 years ago!” Mr. Moonlight? Out with the annoying Hammond solo! And another slap in the wrist for Macca!

* As in "30 Grandes Exitos", where the guacharaca was suppressed and replaced for *stylish, refined* cymbals, the entire drums and percussion of the tracks were removed and replaced with a drum box! In an upcoming Rolling Stone interview, Ringo will talk about how he is finally fed up with being the butt of jokes and harsh and unfair criticism for his drumming job in the band, so he gave up all his work for a bigger share in the Beatles’ business. Finally a point for Macca (fair or unfair his drum parts weren’t removed)!

* Revolution 9 was supposed to be enhanced with disparaging remarks of Michael Jackson made by Paul, Yoko, Olivia and Ringo, but self-styled King of Pop’s death recent death made them quit the project.

* As a special gesture, Strawberry Field Forever was intended to be reworked since the late John was never satisfied with the final result, the originally 1967-released version. But it was not possible to contact him, in spite of all the attempts made.

* In the most controversial move, all non-Harrisongs lead and rhythm guitar work was scrapped and replaced for all new Macca and Eric Clapton’s work. In his final days, close to achieve another happier and peaceful plane of existence, George Harrison couldn’t care less about the request and gave his permission to this. If this was the way for Macca to “finally set things straight”…

Well, speaking seriously now I wish the entire work can be heard as I heard Let It Be… Naked for the first time. Thank you, lads!
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