Demotivational Posters for Late-October

Hoping that Bloodthirsty Liberal and Brutally Honest nailed the real thing. Otherwise, they've still nailed it!. - Dr. sipmac.

Thanks to all those #OccupyWallStreet protestors that made our work at sipmacrants! a lot easier.

Yep, Obama's looking for a New Nobel Prize!

Dear Abby:

I'm the president of a very powerful nation that doesn't deserve that power at all. Until now, I did manage my best to make my country become another one among the others, from kowtowing to foreign monarchs and assorted despots, to offering kind gestures to undeserving tyrants and finally, by running the economy into the ground by creating permanent humongous deficits and rising the unemployment to European levels, all in the name of equality and spreading the wealth (just like my wife recently did with the taxpayers' money in her Europe vacation. The PIIGS are truly in desperate need).

I thought my people would appreciate all this (after all, I am the smart one), but no! All those ungrateful peasants are still clinging to their guns and their religion (Apparently, they didn't get Mr. Hawking's pleasant news: there's no need for a God for the universe to exist). No matter what my independent media does, these hicks don't want to listen to them but only to their own fellow hicks. And, as you might know by now, the race card is already maxed out.

Oh, this weakness of mine! I need to grab attention and recognition, and I deserve all the recognition and attention I can grab. I can't truly understand why my global audience systematically try to tie me to all the environmental fiascoes when I promised that with all my sacred legislation the oceans would recede. You might be fooled thinking I've got all the absolute congressional majorities needed to pass any piece of legislation, but I assure you it is all those darn Republicans that are blocking my initiatives.

Abby, I need a break. So I decided to launch my new inspirational book for children in October. 'Of Thee I Sing: A Letter to My Daughters', full of profiles that will draw all the attention and admiration I need to nurture this weakness of mine. And maybe this way I will win another Nobel Prize this year (Two years in a row -- In your face, everybody!). The more I think about it, the more I tremble because of the brilliance of my plan. The people will be seduced again to vote democrat in November by reading my shining prose (it will be mandatory in schools, for sure), and I will keep my majorities in Congress.

Oh, dear Abby; I thought I needed your help, but as usual, this is not the fact. Thanks anyway. As a token of my appreciation of you, I think you may keep this letter. Who knows how much insight it might give to my future biographers (and autobiographers).

Very truly yours,


The One

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear One:

There's a pair of very special clothes I think would suit you for your new Nobel Prize acceptance ceremony...

Tales from the Wikipedia Trash Can 6: Jumping the Shark

Jumping the shark, indeed. The all-powerful wikicensors considered that the original Jumping-the-Shark entry wasn't boring enough or dumb enough, you decide. What they did not count was Dr. sipmac's surveillance, which was already on the move. Here's a version of an earlier even richer version of:

Jumping the shark
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Jumping the shark is a colloquialism coined by Jon Hein and used by TV critics and fans to denote the point in a television program's or file series' history where the plot veers off into absurd story lines or out-of-the-ordinary characterizations. This usually corresponds to the point where a show with falling ratings apparently becomes more desperate to draw in viewers. In the process of undergoing these changes, the TV or movie series loses its original appeal. Shows that have "jumped the shark" are typically deemed to have passed their peak.

Contents
1 Origin
2 Other uses of the term
3 Common methods
4 In popular culture
4.1 Sitcoms and dramatic series
4.2 Cartoons
4.3 In other media
5 See also
6 References
7 External links

Origin
The phrase refers to a scene in a three-part episode of the American TV series Happy Days, first broadcast on September 20, 1977. In the third of the three parts of the "Hollywood" episode, Fonzie (Henry Winkler), wearing swim trunks and his trademark leather jacket, jumps over a confined shark while water skiing. This was particularly ironic, in that Fonzie, famous for being a biker, had previously jumped his motorcycle for a publicity stunt—but was severely injured in the process, and very remorseful for his actions; he then learned a valuable lesson, and delivered a moral message, that taking foolish risks "isn't cool" (a clearly role-model message against popular 1970s trends of youths imitating daredevil stuntmen like Evel Knievel or Ernie Devlin). In contrast, Fonzie's later decision to take an even greater risk on water skis "to prove a point" came across as absurd in many ways (particularly since the "motorcycle jump" episode was a major point in Fonzie's character development). The infamous scene was seen by many as betraying Happy Days' 1950s setting and its earlier character development by cashing in on the 1970s fads of Evel Knievel and Jaws. Producer Garry Marshall later admitted that he knew the show had lost something as the crew prepared to shoot the scene. As Marshall pointed out in the reunion special that aired on February 3, 2005, however, Happy Days went on to produce approximately 100 more episodes. During the same special, in response to an audience member's question, Marshall introduced the notorious clip and noted how the show had inspired the term. The first public use of the phrase as a direct metaphor is reported to have been on December 24, 1997, when the www.jumptheshark.com website was launched by Jon Hein. According to the site, the phrase was coined by Hein's college roommate, Sean J. Connolly, in 1985. The term first appeared in print in the April 9, 1998, Los Angeles Times Calendar Weekend section. The site was sold to Gemstar (owners of TV Guide) on June 20, 2006 for "over $1 million", who then proceeded to completely revise the content of the site by removing all the user-created comments in 2009. The removal of these comments and the lack of a user-friendly interface / search engine has many former site visitors proclaiming that the website itself has "jumped the shark."



Other uses of the term
The phrase has been used more recently outside the realm of popular culture, representing anything that has reached its peak and has declined in quality. If one thinks a stock or a sports team or a subcultural phenomenon has reached its peak, for example, one can say that it has "jumped the shark." The phrase can also be used more specifically, when referring to a particular event that demonstrates this decline beyond all doubt, such as whenever an entertainment company or business makes a grave mistake, and therefore rapidly loses ratings or fans, becomes bankrupt or is sold. For example: "Has GM jumped the shark?"

Common methods
The "Jump the Shark" web site listed 18 categories fans used to tag shows, signifying the moment at which the show jumped. The categories included:
* Same Character, Different Actor, replacing a cast member with another actor to play the same role, in an attempt to retain the given character. This is generally the result of the departure of a cast member for any reason—most often (but not always) dissatisfaction with the show or role, or conflicts with members of the show's cast or production team. This category applied to shows where the actor/actress had been associated with a role or had been deemed to be crucial to the show's success or appeal. (Ex: Sarah Chalke replacing Lecy Goranson as Becky Conner on the TV show Roseanne.)
* Exit...Stage Left, when a (usually popular) cast member or character quits or retires. (Ex: John Amos leaving the cast of Good Times, William Petersen leaving CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, or Bob Barker retiring from The Price Is Right).
* Death, when a cast member dies (in real life), particularly if the individual was a popular or important part of the show. (Ex: Phil Hartman's passing and its effect on NewsRadio or John Ritter's death and its effect on 8 Simple Rules.)
* Gets Canned, when a (usually popular) cast member or character gets fired. (Ex: Delta Burke being forced out of Designing Women)
* They did it, in which two main characters have sex, particularly if their sexual tension was deemed part of the show's appeal. (Ex: Who's The Boss? or I Dream of Jeannie or Moonlighting or Frasier)
* Inane plot devices, appealing to the lowest common denominator, often revolving around lowbrow humor such as the act of flatulence.
* Moving the main characters from their familiar surroundings to a new setting, such as a new home or even a new town. (Ex: I Love Lucy moving to the suburbs of Connecticut from New York City, Laverne and Shirley moving from Milwaukee to Hollywood)
* Special guest star, where guest stars (sometimes, personalities not generally involved with television) are used as an attempt to attract viewers. (An example is Nancy Reagan's appearance on Diff'rent Strokes to promote her "Just say no" anti-drug agenda.)
* A very special...: the very special episode, describing a situation comedy episode that either deals with a serious or controversial social issue or is unusually dramatic in some way (a notorious attempt to boost failing ratings with cheap appeals to emotion, but which ultimately destroys the levity of the series). (Examples include The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and Blossom)
* New kid in town, or Cousin Oliver Syndrome (in reference to the character on The Brady Bunch), when a new character (often, a young child) is added to the cast, in response to former child actors who have entered adolescence or adulthood, or to revive falling ratings. (Ex: The Seven carácter on Married...with Children, The Great Gazoo on The Flintstones, or Scrappy Doo on "Scooby- Doo")
* Birth, when a new baby is added to a show's cast (and often unnaturally aged to a preschooler the season following the birth), sometimes to accommodate an actress's real-life pregnancy (Ex: Alias), but usually for the same reasons a New kid in town might otherwise be brought in. Another common manifestation in this category is the birth of twins. (Ex: Full House with the aging of the twins Alex and Nicholas from infant in season 5 to pre-schooler in season 6 or Malcolm in the Middle and the introduction of Jamie)
* Another category, entitled simply Ted McGinley, usually includes any show that has featured McGinley in the cast. He has joined the casts of several popular shows alter their zenith (The Love Boat, Happy Days, Dynasty...), earning him the titles of the "Patron Saint of Shark Jumping" and the "Grim Reaper of Television". Other shows, on which McGinley appeared from the start, have in most instances been critically panned or canceled quickly.
* Return of a dead character: In Harper's Island, the return in episode 10 of John Wakefield as the primary killer cause the series to change from a Murder mystery to a slasher series.

In popular culture
Sitcoms and dramatic series
* The ninth season episode of The X-Files featuring the final adventure of The Lone Gunmen is entitled "Jump The Shark".
* Fourth season episode of Supernatural is entitled "Jump the Shark" where Dean and Sam Winchester find their long lost brother. The episode also pays homage by having the characters meet in a diner called "Cousin Oliver's Diner". Inside the diner is a "31st Annual Fonzarelli Skiing Championship" poster can be seen in the background, referring to the 1977 event.
* Arrested Development character Barry Zuckercorn, played by Henry Winkler, who played the Fonz in Happy Days, literally jumps over a shark in the episode "Motherboy XXX".
* In the That '70s Show episode "Jackie Says Cheese", Fez imagines jumping over a shark, thinking how cool it would be to be the Fonz. Hyde comments that not only is it the worst idea ever, but that it also was the worst moment in television history. Fez agrees, saying he stopped watching the show after that episode.
* MADtv reenacted a skit in which the infamous "jump the shark" episode was partially redone in mock Spanish, featuring dialogue such as Laverne saying "Aww, Shirl,Fonzie es jumpo el sharko!"
* In the 200th episode of Stargate SG-1, after receiving an idea to shoot a movie entirely with puppets, Martin Lloyd (the director of the movie) says "That'll work, a whole movie made with puppets...maybe we can have puppet O'Neill jump over a puppet shark on a 1/3-scale motorcycle."
* A sketch at the beginning of Reno 911!'s fifth season premiere features Lt. Jim Dangle attempting to jump over a small leopard shark. In the background, a banner can be seen which reads, "Jumping he shark for autism." However, Dangle fails to actually jump the shark and instead crashes facefirst nto the aquarium.
*The CSI: Crime Scene Investigation episode "Two And a Half Deaths" contains a scene in which Det. Captain Jim Brass tries to explain to Gil Grissom the meaning of the phrase "jump the shark." However, Grissom appears not to understand who Fonzie is and Brass gives up on the explanation.
* In the opening to the House episode Here Kitty, Dr. Gregory House sets up a ramp for his toy car to "jump a [toy] shark", but the car was caught by Dr. Cuddy.
* After series 6 of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps, Ralf Little confirmed he would not be rejoining the cast for series seven. In the first - live - episode of series six, his character (who didn't physically appear) Johnny Keogh, was killed water-skiing over a shark in the USA
* In the series finale of Boston Legal, Alan and Denny marry, despite both being straight and Denny's homophobia, justifying it as a marriage of convenience and not love. Denny says this would be "like jumping a shark".
* In an episode of the Canadian comedy series Made in Canada, the characters discuss the nature of jumping the shark, and talk about when each of them "jumped the shark" in their own personal lives.
Cartoons
* Clerks: The Animated Series had an episode which discussed the "Happy Days" jump the shark episode.
* At the end of the Kim Possible episode "Ill Suited," Ron Stoppable calls Kim, waking her up to discuss several different dreams he had, including one of Kim ski-jumping over sharks. Furthermore, Kim indicates that he was only dreaming, seemingly emphasizing that the show hadn't yet reached its prime.
* In episode "Sharko's Machine" of Sealab 2021, Sharko jumps over a pool of Fonzies during a montage.
* The Fairly OddParents had a music video on the DVD movie Channel Chasers called "If I Lived In TV" which featured Timmy Turner waterskiing with Fonzie, in which they eventually jump over a shark.
* The South Park episode "Probably" begins with a "Previously on South Park" segment, in which interspliced with actual clips are cartoonized scenes of Fonzie about to jump over a shark. In the South Park version of events, Fonz doesn't make it, and is consequently eaten. Also, the episode City on the Edge of Forever includes a clip of Fonzie jumping over a bus on his motorcycle, crashing into Kenny, then handing out ice cream.
* The episode 257-494 which began Season 4 of Teen Titans had Robin jump a shark while on skis.
* The Simpsons clip show "Gump Roast" ends with many jumping-the-shark allusions, including a shot of Homer water skiing over a shark.
* In the Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends series finale episode, "Goodbye to Bloo", Bloo, thinking that Mac is moving away and being unable to think of anything fun to do on his last day, decides that, when you have run out of things to do, the only thing left is to "Jump the Shark" (literal in this case, but also a reference to the definition of the term itself).
* SuperNews episode 7 "I Don't wanna go Bowling!" depicted a sketch where a character quotes "It's time to jump the shark. Ayyyy!!" and jumps the Twitter Fail Whale

In other media
* The computer game Jumpman Zero has a level titled jump the shark, which requires the player to do just that.
* In the skateboard video game Tony Hawk's American Wasteland, the player is required to jump over a shark named Fonzie.
* In the Australian interview series Enough Rope, Andrew Denton interviewed a Northern Territory fisherman named Ian Dodge, who had jumped over an actual live shark when it temporarily landed
* In Fish Finders, the Radio Serial, Drake suggests (as he and Nick are planning to build a huge expansion onto their aquarium) that they should have acrobats covered in shrimp, who should then jump into shark tanks for visitors. Nick then responds by saying "Jumping the shark! I like it!".
* The cover of Knights of the Dinner Table #151 features Gary Jackson on a motorcycle, dressed as Evel Knievel, jumping over a shark in a pool.
* The "Weird Al" Yankovic song, "Couch Potato" (from the 2003 Poodle Hat album) features the line, "And 'King of Queens' jumped the shark the first minute, I can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in it."

See also
* Jumping the couch
* Nuking the fridge

Bonus from the newest “version” (more of a lame attempt):

Nuking the fridge

An analogous term, Nuking the fridge, is an allusion to a scene early in the 2008 film Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. In the scene, Indiana Jones is hit by the blast of a nuclear weapon while hiding inside a lead-lined refrigerator in a desperate attempt at survival. The refrigerator is hurled a great distance through the sky and tumbles hard to the ground, while the structures surrounding it are utterly obliterated. A relatively uninjured Jones emerges to witness the mushroom cloud miles away. Audiences found the absurdity of this event disappointing and reflective of the decreased quality of the series, thus the term nuking the fridge.

Media notice of the phrase includes articles in Newsweek Magazine, the Toronto Sun, and the New York Times, a tongue in cheek reference in Entertainment Weekly, an on-the-air discussion between television anchor Staci Spanos of WJXT-TV and radio personality Mark Kaye of WAPE-FM, and MSN's A-List Searches' Hot Topic of the Day on July 6, 2008. On Monday, July 7, 2008, CNBC ran a story entitled "Have Media Stocks Nuked the Fridge?". Nuke the fridge was also ranked fifth in Time Magazine's "Top Ten Buzzwords of 2008" and nominated for Word of the Year by the American Dialect Society.

South Park mentions the scene in the episode "The China Problem."

Hey! You saw it here, on sipmacrants!

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• Jump the Shark (sfnowak.com)
• The 9 Worst Times Internet Memes Jumped The Shark (buzzfeed.com)
• Hugo Chavez Jumps the Shark. (puebloalsur.wordpress.com)

Christine, wherever you are, please take 'em up!

Have you ever been driving a F-150 through the desert at dawn? Watching the full moon four times bigger as you watch it in the city? It doesn't matter, if you can drive a car you may have your perfect driving moment and you may still be keeping to yourself, because it is kind of a zen experience you don't want to ruin by sharing it with a stranger.

Anyway, I should thank first Stephen King for introducing me to the then unknown pleasures of driving at the tender age of 13. I read his best-seller Christine, and boy did my life change after that. I thought I could relate a lot to Arnie Cunningham, who always had to put up with tons of misery until he found a little happiness and then his life force would be taken from him for good.

But he was driving the perfect car: a red-white '58 Plymouth Fury. Made just for him. Oh, did I tell you before how much I like rock 'n roll? Every time I see a fiftysomething Chevrolet Bel-Air, a Pontiac or an old Studebaker, I remember immediatly:

From the Beach Boys to the Beatles to Jan and Dean and a very long et cetera, driving a cool car and rock 'n roll music belong together. But not anymore. In the name of political correctness and enviromentalism, we have to endure this:

Driving a car won't be as fun as it used to be. Thanks for nothing, GM.

Christine, wherever you are, please take 'em up!

The newest ego-boosting tool for english-language bloggers!

Thanks to Ms. Cynthia Yockey for the tip, for starters. Dr. sipmac always wanted to analyze what was wrong with Paul Maršić, so that he went straight ahead to the I write like website, used a recent post about the french nagging police to let the computer program compare his writing, and voilá:

I write like
James Joyce

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Later, sip used another post, the one with Jorge Luis Borges. Guess what the website said?

I write like
Leo Tolstoy

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

It looks already like Maršić's banking account is going to skyrocket this month... and If sip adds a few more paragraphs...

I write like
Cory Doctorow

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Well, that is a heckuva website, as stimulating as egosurfing, I'm quite sure. BTW, will in the meanwhile the real Paul Maršić please stand up?

Beware! The French nagging police is watching you!

By Paul Maršić

Domestic violence is a serious matter. Domestic violence is no laughing matter. You just tell Nadine Morano, junior family minister of France, she’s making a travesty of domestic violence by praising the latest attempt of the French National Assembly to regulate human life and human nature: “we have introduced an important measure here, which recognizes psychological violence, because it isn’t just blows [that hurt], but also words”.

What she is referring is that now in France is unlawful by decree any kind of verbal abuse between spouses (or domestic partners); perpetrators would be facing up to three years in prison and 92.000. French lawmakers and bureaucrats (ever wonder how the dreaded word originates?) are looking to proscribe badmouthing in blogs and trolling in web forums next. It’s just the natural logical progression.By attempting to micro-regulate human behavior this way, the state is risking more loss of respect from its citizens and effectiveness. Do you think this is law applicable? Define verbal abuse first. Did your spouse threaten with beating or killing you? Well, I’m completely sure that when a citizen threatens another, is breaking an already established law. See, this is a futile effort, a superfluous law. There is a lot of serious nagging in every marriage. The law already contemplates that when people in marriages are fed up with this (mental cruelty), they can always call it quits (it is already called divorce).
This puerile law tries to coerce people to “behave properly” in a most impractical way. It is like trying to outlaw stupid behavior with a bill. And with people like the junior family minister of France, who doesn’t recognized that the road to hell is paved with good intentions or realize legislature must be full of common sense, well, it is worth a try.

Related articles

• Chris Brown finishes domestic violence program (abclocal.go.com)
• Donate A Coat; Help a Domestic Violence Victim (oklahomawomen.blogspot.com)
• Chris Brown completes domestic violence program (sfgate.com)

Generation Laughingstock

By Paul Maršić.

Google "generation stupid", and the first choices will be about Generation Y, those ones being born between 1982 and 2002. Yep, they've earned some reputation. The blogosphere and the press are in full assessment mode, and their judgement is harsh. The most recent uproar about them is that according to the National Association of Colleges and Employers (NACE), about 41% of this year's graduates are turning down job offers because "they are not worthy of them". Being so, back to the parents and back to the rocking horse until something better comes.

This spell disaster. With a crumbling global economy, and with a lot of uncertainty in the horizon, this is not likely the sound decision to make. But who cares? Not the millenials, for sure. I've tried to find the original NACE report, but it wasn't easy: it seems the full report is for sale. I've found out about this reading the caustic Daily Gut and the somewhat meek New York Times Magazine report (it has a happy ending for the millenial kids, in spite of the contrary evidence). But both are worth reading. And you can find a lot more about this online. But for the NACE source, I think this will do it for a while.

In the meanwhile, Gen Y is in a hole and keeps digging and digging. The normal thing used to be the newest generation laughing at their elders, not the other way. Not convinced? Judith Warner from the NYT Magazine says:

Not only do they believe these perfect jobs exist, but today’s recent graduates also think they’re good enough to get them. “They see themselves as really well prepared and supremely good candidates for the job market,” says Edwin Koc, director of research for the National Association of Colleges and Employers. “Over 90 percent think they have a perfect résumé. The percentage who think they will have a job in hand three months after graduation is now 57 percent. They’re still supremely confident in themselves.”

For critics, this is irrational exuberance, an example of group psychosis, proof that this generation is headed for a major crash. “It’s not confidence; it’s overconfidence,” Jean Twenge, a professor in the department of psychology at San Diego State University and author of “Generation Me,” told me recently. “And when it reaches that level, it’s problematic.”

And Greg Gutfeld adds:

Meaning, they’re special, so their jobs must be special. I mean, you can’t have a precious one-of-a-kind snowflake working in the mailroom! Snowflakes can’t open packages! Snowflakes can’t make coffee! Snowflakes are there to be appreciated, as snowflakes!

And so the job becomes another spoke in the wheel of self-fulfillment, something to accentuate the belly button ring and Asian lettered tattoo on your pelvis (which reads “stupid white person”).

You could say this is the ultimate consequence of self-love buoyed by a safety net. It’s not the kid who’s doing this, but the parents who indulge them. Kick ‘em out, they’ll find work.

For me, it simply means that a lot of us haven't experienced harshness, difficulties or that deaded word (clears throat) failure. A lot of us simply pretend these conditions of life do not exist. Our parents are still there to put a veil over those unpleasant realities. And I think is not going to get any better for a while. Not convinced? Well, could you explain me why there are so many emos and tell me objectively if they have any reason to complain?

Not very good news, indeed.

Thanks to the mean Diesel Wear advertising execs that once again got away, this time with the "stupid" ad campaign. It portraits the Gen Y quite faithfully, and (not surprinsingly) nobody is complaining about it. I used the ads without permission for this rant. Hope nobody complains about it, either.

Related articles

• Liberal Arts Catches Up Eventually (getalegup.wordpress.com)
• Baby Names Reveal More About Parents Than Ever Before (livescience.com)
• The Price of Millenial Flibbertigibbetness? (pr-squared.com)
• Good News for the Class of 2011: You're Hired (blogs.wsj.com)