Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Someecards: sarcastic pearls of wisdom
Now that the end of june it's almost here, now we're going to try something different: instead of going demotivational, we're going with someecards! Enjoy.
Monday, March 25, 2013
What's /b/? (Taken from the internet)
/b/ is the guy who tells the cripple ahead of him in line to hurry up.
/b/ is first to get to the window to see the car accident outside.
/b/ is the one who wrote your number on the mall's bathroom wall.
/b/ is a failing student who makes passes at his young, attractive English teacher.
/b/ is the guy loitering on Park Ave. that is always trying to sell you something.
/b/ is the one who handed his jizz-drenched clothes to Good Will.
/b/ is one who introduced you first to Goatse.
/b/ is a hot incest dream that you'll try to forget for days.
/b/ is the only one of your group of friends to be secure in his sexuality and say anything. /b/ is the guy without ED who still likes trying Viagra.
/b/ is the best friend that tags along for your first date and cock-blocks throughout night. The decent girl you're trying to bag walks out on the date, /b/ laughs and takes you home when you're drunk, and you wake up to several hookers in your house who /b/ called for you.
/b/ is a friend that constantly asks you to try mutual masturbation with him.
/b/ is the guy who calls a suicide hotline to hit on the advisor
/b/ is nuking the hard-drive next time someone knocks on his door.
/b/ is the one who left a used condom outside the schoolyard.
/b/ is the voice in your head that tells you that it doesn't matter if she's drunk.
/b/ is the friend who constantly talks about your mom's rack.
/b/ is the only one who understands what the hell you saying.
/b/ is someone who would pay a hooker to eat his ass, and only that.
/b/ is the uncle who has touched you several times.
/b/ is still recovering in the hospital, after trying something he saw in a hentai.
/b/ is the pleasure you feel guilty of when you tried playing with your anus during masturbation.
/b/ is wonderful.
Bam to behold, a public bulletin board, built of both brilliance and barbarity by bastards with boners. This bastion, no mere bulwark of boredom, is a brutal barrage of blistering bullshit, barely benevolent... but behind the bigotry and boobs, beyond the bitter broadcasts of bragging buffoons: here be the body politic. A brotherhood of blasphemy, blessed with more balls than brains, battling the bland, the bogus, the benign. Bedlam? Bring it on. But I babble... better to be brief.
You may call me /b/.
What evil lurks in the hearts of men? /b/ knows. Too much.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Kevin James' "Here Comes the Boom" entertains... and inspires!
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| It's for the frigging kids... |
Here Comes the Boom is lighthearted entertainment, but still manages to bring several political hot issues to make you still wonder. For starters, it is unbelievable bipartisan. It knocks off the unfair founding school system, but it does the same with the teacher unions. The film doesn’t pit the personal responsibility ideal against the “it takes a village” meme, but embraces both of them. It cheers America and being American (a lot), but criticizes the current economical state of affairs. And Kevin James’ main character lone crusade mobilizes (and changes) the entire community at the end, integrating it in a way it can only be desired in real life, thanks to the still undergoing polarization.
Mixed martial arts and the UFC is a big winner here, something truly deserved for awhile. The new sport discipline knocked boxing out of its place by being first a more honest spectacle, and second, by bringing more feeling and emotion to the public. The movie obviously capitalizes on that ongoing spirit; some may deem this as a shameless commercial, but for most it is the final coming of age of MMA into the mainstream.
Of course “mixed reviews” were expected. After all, is a Kevin James movie and Adam Sandler is thru executive producing and his company Happy Madison involved. It is customary for the movie critics attempting to tear down anything with the name of Sandler or James once it appear in the theater marquees, but the people have spoken. People laughed with the comedy, not at the story and the focused actors’ performances.
January is supposed to be sort of a “nuclear waste facility” for the movie studios that want to get rid of failed projects and expected bombs. Here comes the boom doesn’t have the look of a failure nor its spirit. People simply need a reason to go to the movies at the beginning of the years and the cast that includes Salma Hayek, Joe Rogan (as himself), and of course the great Henry Winkler, provides it.
Highly recommended.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Oh,Yoko! She is on the loose again: "designs" Butt-Baring Men's Line
Yoko Ono Introduces Butt-Baring Men's Line: Yoko Ono is still drawing artistic inspiration from her marriage to ex-Beatle John Lennon.
Yoko, oh no!
Ono's latest commercial endeavor ties back to sketches she once drew for Lennon of clothing that would, in her words, flatter his "hot bod."
(...) I've already said this years ago and anybody with a brain surviving the sixties can realize that Yoko Ono is a mind-control device of the CIA-developed MK-Ultra program. She was succesfully used to neutralize Lennon's stamina and impetus. The lads took notice of this, and helped stage an elaborated break-up (See, Get Back Sessions).
(...) When Lennon (already tired of being harassed by the FBI) went out of his 5-year reccess to the recording studio (Ono recorded her "creations" - full of mind control messages for John - with Lennon to deliberate undermine the success of the LPs), she was supposed to be active, but somehow losing grip on him, so they decided to use the 9-B Plan (See, Catcher in the Rye, Stephen King, Male Clone). Mark David Chapman (See, Stephen King, Male Clone) met his mark when they realized The Beatles were pretty close of accepting the 3,000-plus dollars offered by Lorne Michaels to perform on Saturday Night Live. After that, another album and world tour with a second wave of Beatlemania was inveitable.
(...) These days, the mind control device bides her time with subtly terrorizing/annoying McCartney and exploiting her husband's memory to complete irrelevance (See, Lennon's Character Assassination, Phase 3).
Excerpts from my not-upcoming book: "The Beatles' Plan 9 From Outer Space: What Really Happened"
Monday, September 3, 2012
Demotivational Posters for early-September
The task: Define the last August 2012 with a bunch of demotivational posters, in the vein of the sipmac team. Because It’s time again for our traditional demotivational posters, September 2012 Edition!
Thanks to all those public figures that make my work a lot easier.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
A Ninety-nine Percenter Confronts Barack Obama
You saw it here first, at sipmacrants! (Paul intended to post this at Opinion Renegada, but Wordpress is truly lousy and despicable with all things videos). In the meanwhile, the Occupiers are busy making plans for tomorrow, and want to make the first day of May relevant as it is in the rest of the world. But some of them are not missing the big picture here!
Related articles
- The Zimmerman/Martin Case: I Blame Obama (sipmac.blogspot.com)
- Byron York: End the phony 'war on women' (appeal-democrat.com)
- Obama Faces Defeat on Pipeline As Democrats Defect - Byron York - Townhall Conservative Columnists (gds44.wordpress.com)
- Obama's Money Game: Small and Big Bucks (newyorker.com)
- Ninety Nine Percent (noidonthaveatescoclubcard.wordpress.com)
- Video: Bubble Mania (ritholtz.com)
- JAMES TARANTO: "One time Barack Obama went to an Indian restaurant and ordered the lassi. Was he ev... (pjmedia.com)
- A Ninety-nine Percenter Confronts Barack Obama (sipmac.blogspot.com)
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Demotivational Posters for early-March
Define the month of March 2012 with a bunch of demotivational posters, in the vein of the sipmac team. It’s time again for our traditional demotivational posters, March 2012 Edition!
Thanks to all those public figures that make my work a lot easier.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Demotivational Posters for Early-February
With every passing day, 2012 looks more and more demotivational to the sipmac team. It’s time again for our traditional demotivational posters, February 2012 Edition!
Thanks to all those public figures that make my work a lot easier.
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