Oh,Yoko! She is on the loose again: "designs" Butt-Baring Men's Line

Yoko, oh no!

Yoko Ono Introduces Butt-Baring Men's Line: Yoko Ono is still drawing artistic inspiration from her marriage to ex-Beatle John Lennon.

Ono's latest commercial endeavor ties back to sketches she once drew for Lennon of clothing that would, in her words, flatter his "hot bod."

(...) I've already said this years ago and anybody with a brain surviving the sixties can realize that Yoko Ono is a mind-control device of the CIA-developed MK-Ultra program. She was succesfully used to neutralize Lennon's stamina and impetus. The lads took notice of this, and helped stage an elaborated break-up (See, Get Back Sessions). 

(...) When Lennon (already tired of being harassed by the FBI) went out of his 5-year reccess to the recording studio (Ono recorded her "creations" - full of mind control messages for John - with Lennon to deliberate undermine the success of the LPs), she was supposed to be active, but somehow losing grip on him, so they decided to use the 9-B Plan (See, Catcher in the Rye, Stephen King, Male Clone). Mark David Chapman (See, Stephen King, Male Clone) met his mark when they realized The Beatles were pretty close of accepting the 3,000-plus dollars offered by Lorne Michaels to perform on Saturday Night Live. After that, another album and world tour with a second wave of Beatlemania was inveitable. 

(...) These days, the mind control device bides her time with subtly terrorizing/annoying McCartney and exploiting her husband's memory to complete irrelevance (See, Lennon's Character Assassination, Phase 3). 

Excerpts from my not-upcoming book: "The Beatles' Plan 9 From Outer Space: What Really Happened"

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• Oh no, Yoko

World status update by country (taken from the Internet and modified)

I got this non-pc satire from the blog International Liberty. In these SOPA days sure I can feel nervous about knocking down an entire post, but it is awesome enough to deserve the reposting and even more worth of being added some new material.

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The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbor” and “Lose.”

Colombia on the contrary, has lowered its alert level from “revolted, give’em hell” to “gullible, let’s hear them”, still away from the lowest level “naïve, let’s make a new constitution”.

Venezuela, maintains its only level since 1999 “paranoia, pretend those Yankees are after you to retain full power.”

North Korea is making its transition from “worker’s paradise” to “surreal” to “completely loony tunes”, which will be called later “normal”.

China is upgrading from “frenemy” to “only major player”, only if they can avoid the “implosion” status because of abusing the “everything’s fine” grade, without revealing its hidden housing bubble and railroad fiasco and infrastructure systems failures.

Argentina, after taking over the pensions system, upgraded from “perceived catastrophe” to “nothing to see here, pal”. The lowest level “real catastrophe, every man for himself” is somewhat consistent with its highest threat level “head in the sand.”

Russia has four levels: “I can get no respect”, “demand respect”, its current “extract respect” and “war”.


Alert level of this blog? Red, of course.

Related articles

• Terror Alert: Interview with a Canadian couple on Bangkok terror alert indicates mixed-readiness (thaiintelligentnews.wordpress.com)
• (MONITOR) International Terror Levels! (dreadnoughtuk.wordpress.com)
• Terror Alert: Israel says Terrorist Recruiting with Social Media & USA's Bangkok "Terror Alert" with Social Media (with UPI) (thaiintelligentnews.wordpress.com)
• Philippine Catholics defy terror alerts, march in streets (cbc.ca)
• Politically Incorrect Terrorism Humor from England (danieljmitchell.wordpress.com)
• World status update by country (taken from the internet and modified) (sipmac.blogspot.com)
  
• World status update by country (taken from the Internet and modified) (sipmac.blogspot.com)

Ingrid of the Jungle

A Dr. sipmac translation (original text taken from Tijera Press)

"This should never have happened. Everything was so crystal clear in my mind: Larry King, Oprah, then the Nobel Prize, best-selling books about my captivity in Spanish, English and French, a major motion picture in Hollywood, the Awards ceremony, negligence lawsuit against the Colombian state, the presidency, and then ... " Perhaps I exaggerate, but more than one of these things certainly thought Ingrid Betancourt during and after his captivity. The story of her mighty tantrum originated because she didn't win the Nobel Peace Prize says a lot.

Accustomed as we are to their miscalculations, it took us completely by surprise the obvious: writers Serge Scotto and Eric Stoffel, teamed up with illustrator Richard di Martino and prepared between July 2008 and December 2009 the perfect blow to the arrogance and ambition of the former hostage, a comic satire of her well known behavior in and out of captivity. A simple idea, but it never ocurred until now in this proud land of "humorists".

Currently scheduled to go on sale one week before the captivity memoir "There is no silence that does not end", the graphic satire and is already an Internet sensation. The web forums are full of prospective buyers, willing to buy a Spanish version.

Yet to be known is if the parody will be successful in France, where there was certainly a lot of backlash, and saturation with everything having to do with Ingrid Betancourt; but is almost certain that it could be completely successful in the country that loves to hate her. Meanwhile, she continues with its strong levels of unpopularity, which I doubt can be alleviated with an exclusive interview with reputed writer and intellectual Héctor Abad. Even Larry King at its best couldn't have been able to rescue her image. Another gaffetastic miscalculation.

We should recall that her first miscalculation was to enter a combat zone in spite of the warnings.

Yep, Obama's looking for a New Nobel Prize!

Dear Abby:

I'm the president of a very powerful nation that doesn't deserve that power at all. Until now, I did manage my best to make my country become another one among the others, from kowtowing to foreign monarchs and assorted despots, to offering kind gestures to undeserving tyrants and finally, by running the economy into the ground by creating permanent humongous deficits and rising the unemployment to European levels, all in the name of equality and spreading the wealth (just like my wife recently did with the taxpayers' money in her Europe vacation. The PIIGS are truly in desperate need).

I thought my people would appreciate all this (after all, I am the smart one), but no! All those ungrateful peasants are still clinging to their guns and their religion (Apparently, they didn't get Mr. Hawking's pleasant news: there's no need for a God for the universe to exist). No matter what my independent media does, these hicks don't want to listen to them but only to their own fellow hicks. And, as you might know by now, the race card is already maxed out.

Oh, this weakness of mine! I need to grab attention and recognition, and I deserve all the recognition and attention I can grab. I can't truly understand why my global audience systematically try to tie me to all the environmental fiascoes when I promised that with all my sacred legislation the oceans would recede. You might be fooled thinking I've got all the absolute congressional majorities needed to pass any piece of legislation, but I assure you it is all those darn Republicans that are blocking my initiatives.

Abby, I need a break. So I decided to launch my new inspirational book for children in October. 'Of Thee I Sing: A Letter to My Daughters', full of profiles that will draw all the attention and admiration I need to nurture this weakness of mine. And maybe this way I will win another Nobel Prize this year (Two years in a row -- In your face, everybody!). The more I think about it, the more I tremble because of the brilliance of my plan. The people will be seduced again to vote democrat in November by reading my shining prose (it will be mandatory in schools, for sure), and I will keep my majorities in Congress.

Oh, dear Abby; I thought I needed your help, but as usual, this is not the fact. Thanks anyway. As a token of my appreciation of you, I think you may keep this letter. Who knows how much insight it might give to my future biographers (and autobiographers).

Very truly yours,


The One

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Dear One:

There's a pair of very special clothes I think would suit you for your new Nobel Prize acceptance ceremony...