Uncyclopedia UnNews: Unfunny, plain sick

Before it occurs to go down the memory hole, Dr. sipmac wishes to share with you one of the latest "humorous" creations of the Uncyclopedia kids:

Embarrassed paedophile apologizes to children for poor sexual performance


Featured in UnNews, it goes way beyond satire and parody, it is outright disgusting. But wait, there's more. As they are already bragging, the answer to the question "Uncyclopedia announces a new policy on offensive material" is writing even more offensive things. By mocking religion, political beliefs and anything you want, do you really think there is no limits? Mr. Jonathan Huang, please remember rule number 2. An apology would not hurt and would demonstrate there are real people at Uncyclopedia.

FULL DISCLOSURE: Dr. sipmac reads Uncyclopedia on a daily basis, but does not celebrate all the faux pas and misfires he can find in that website.

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James Cameron, that's it!

Dr. sipmac can barely tolerate that Avatar movie as a three-hour brainwashing process thinly disguised as entertainment. So, why dignify that with a review? Hello! This is not a review. Dr. sipmac is here to remind you that every act of terrorism is despicable and condemnable. A simple definition can be found on wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn:

(the calculated use of violence (or the threat of violence) against civilians in order to attain goals that are political or religious or ideological in nature; this is done through intimidation or coercion or instilling fear)

So, say what you want, but the words "againts civilians", "intimidation". "coercion" and "fear" must be ringing a bell for you, or you must be not a human at all. If terrorism is not justifiable at all, then you must react with utter disgust to what James Cameron said to Entertainment Weekly:

EW: “Avatar” is the perfect eco-terrorism recruiting tool.”

JC: Good, good. I like that one. I consider that a positive review. I believe in ecoterrorism.”

Dr. sipmac says then "That's it!". The one and only Mel Gibson got nailed for what he said against the jews, even counting he was being arrested for drunk driving. James Cameron, until I hear or read something different, was sober when he said that. The more guilty he is then for instigating violence. The affix eco is not a free pass for everything, and not for ecoterrorism, either. Martin Luther King Jr. Day is coming, Mr. Cameron. How about a little non-violence to achieve your goals? Or are you just another Machiavelli wannabe? People with the same success and wealth like you have paid (deservedly) dearly for saying things like you said. So, take what you said back and apologize, or sooner or later, you will be held responsible for what you said. Look at the face of that guy at your side. What do you think he is going to do?

Dr. sipmac has ranted

Google and censorship: only half of the story

Dr. sipmac enters the minefield! People in the web already knows what is happening with Google, finally fed up with cooperating with the Internet censorship in China. It has something to do with the chinese mid-December ciberattacks, targeting gmail accounts belonging to human rights activists.

If you are accustomed to live in a free society, where fredom of speech is taken for granted, well... you have already sneered at both the cooperation and the ciberattacks. If you live in an authoritarian regime, well... you can only dream of when this is going to stop.

Bad news, people. It is only the beginning, thanks to the politically correct movement (another way to define newspeak) and the hate speech laws, you can be easily labeled and ousted (Hint: just like Soylent Green, hate speech varies from person to person). You just dare to think really different and will see it. And Google already has a lot of 'splainin to do (for what is doing in Germany and France, for instance. Just click the links). Apparently, freedom of speech is good and censorship is bad... easy interchangeable when one of those interferes with your plans.

Dr. sipmac exits the minefield! Or isn't he?

FULL DISCLOSURE: Dr. sipmac blogs at blogger.com, a division of Google (and he wishes to keep it that way). Don't shut him down!

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The incredible and sad story of the candid Elizabeth and the monster John

"Game Change" is the name of the game. A payload of dirt for McCain, Palin, the Clintons, the Edwardeses, and yes, the Obamas. It's coming down fast! The first victims of this avalanche of filth, are, for sure, the children of a lesser god: John and Elizabeth Edwards. For the first time in history, we can watch, word for word, page by page, how a big political campaign imploded, thanks to the hubris and the stupidity of their leading emptyheads. Hey, don't take my word for it! Read it from here, or buy the book.

And the monster? Just read it and weep:

As for Elizabeth Edwards, she is reportedly now urging John to accede to Hunter’s demands and take responsibility for his paternity of Frances Quinn—a dramatic and no doubt painful turnabout from her position eighteen months ago. Confronted then with the Enquirer photo of her husband cuddling Hunter’s baby, she insisted to Palmieri that she still believed he was not the father. “I have to believe it,” Elizabeth said. “Because if I don’t, it means I’m married to a monster."

Lisa Simpson, do something about it!

Once upon a time, a $ 21 talking Teen Barbie dared to say “math is hard”. Then she got immediatly lambasted for perpetuating the unfair sexist stereotype of women being not interested in studying math or (gasp!) sciences. That was 1992, not the dark ages, by the way. Lisa Simpson then took action in two ways since then: her first bold move was to produce her own doll Lisa Lionheart in 1994. A few seasons later, she disguised herself as a boy to keep on learning real math in 2006. What an intrepid girl, eager to learn and question the so-called conventional wisdom!

Now in 2010, we have the brand-new inaction figure Berkeley High’s School Governance Council, daring to say “science is hard for blacks and latinos. Let’s cut science classes for good!”

Oh, the humanity! As Bob Parr once said, the Governance Council is looking for new ways to celebrate mediocrity. The children aren’t scoring too well in science? Then kill the lab classes and use the money for something more “critical” (!). Level the students to the lowest common denominator, what a great education policy.

Now the Berkeley School Board has the last word in this highly educational mess/travesty.

“The full plan to close the racial achievement gap by altering the structure of the high school is known as the High School Redesign. It will come before the Berkeley School Board as an information item at its January 13 meeting. Generally, such agenda items are passed without debate, but if the school board chooses to play a more direct role in the High School Redesign, it could bring the item back as an action item at a future meeting.”

Lisa, you are Dr. sipmac’s most-hated Simpson character, since the time you rejected 12 million dollars from Monty Burns on the grounds of being “bloody money”, because he got his fortune back by destroying the environment. Did it ever occur to you that you could have used that money to fix the harm done? You may have a high IQ in your mind, but your common sense must be somewhere else.

To be fair, from time to time you do the right thing instead of annoy your viewers. Now, this is the time to do it again, since you’re more known than Dr. sipmac. People pay more attention to you. And there’s plenty to denounce: incompetence, patronizing racism, and yes, sexism, too. What is meant to happen at Berkeley school couldn’t be more damaging to the youth and the ideals of education if they were announcing they were going to teach alchemy instead of science lab classes.

Dr. sipmac has ranted

Image taken from luiscordero.com

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Woody Allen, you're finally caught!

Happy New Year again! Dr. sipmac is still watching everything under (and above) the sun! Ever wondered about a mystery you didn't know it even existed? Well, Greywizard hit the jackpot! If you want to keep Hollywood alive, repeat, alive, please DO NOT watch a single Woody Allen movie again! Why? The webmaster of The Unknown Movies can explain it better:

He's been deceiving the public and his fellow filmmakers for years. All of his work is just a ruse for what his real aim is, and I am going to expose it right here and right now. And that is... WOODY ALLEN IS TRYING TO KILL HOLLYWOOD! You think I'm joking? Let's take a look at Allen's career as a writer/director. The first movie he wrote and directed was Take The Money And Run, released by Cinerama. Several years later, Cinerama closed its tents and went out of business forever. Then he moved to United Artists and made several movies there. What happened to United Artists? They declared bankruptcy several years later, and were absorbed by another studio. Allen then moved to Orion Pictures and made several movies there. I'll tell you what happened several years after he arrived: Orion declared bankruptcy. Allen then moved to Tri-Star and made a couple of movies. Not long afterwards, Tri-Star was finished as a studio and was turned into a brand that Sony uses to release movies they don't have confidence in. And look at the studios writer/director Allen has worked with (and given his curse) since. There's Miramax (the founders left the company and Disney has severely scaled back its releases), Touchstone (Disney has scaled it back severely as well), Fine Line (is now as dead as its parent company New Line), and Dreamworks (almost declared bankruptcy twice, and its remains and debts have been sold off). It's just a matter of time before we hear bad news about Fox Searchlight and the Weinstein Company, the distributors he has worked with recently. It's time to DECLARE WAR AND STOP HIS EVIL PLANS!

What about the Wenstein Company? The one with the Inglorious Basterds fame? Are you kidding me? Oh, you mean the one with the Nine fame? Uh-oh...

Imagen tomada de humorparatodos.com