Someecards: sarcastic pearls of wisdom

Now that the end of june it's almost here, now we're going to try something different: instead of going demotivational, we're going with someecards! Enjoy.

Great expectations for Superman's "Man of Steel"

Superman hits the big screen again with "Man of Steel", and many are predicting a smashing weekend, with a box office score of 108 million, and maybe a total of 1.000 million at the end of the summer. Why? Because he's Superman, of course!

Angry Birds: Where are all those Golden Eggs?

Already done with all the levels and no clue where all those Golden Eggs lie? Need urgently to master the entire Angry Birds (original flavor) game for good? Look no more, ‘cause sipmacrants! is here with the 411!

Egg 1: Pause the game at the first level and touch the (?) icon. Go through the guided tour until the White Bird that throws exploding eggs appears.The egg throwed by the bird will be exactly the first golden Egg. Touch it. Remember, the instruction manual is for winners!

Egg 2: You need to achieve three stars in all "Poached Eggs" levels to get this Golden Egg. Tough one.

Egg 3: In the "Poached Eggs" 1-8 level please touch three times the treasure chest get the Golden Egg.

Egg 4: Still at the "Poached Eggs" 2-2 level try to destroy the beach ball achieve the next Golden Egg.

Egg 5: The “official” last game is “Bad Piggies” If you complete the entire game and watch patiently the credits, the Golden Egg will appear.

Egg 6: Press twice on the sun at the level selection screen and get the next Golden Egg. The sun is located at the bottom of the screen.

Egg 7: Get three stars in every single "Mighty Hoax" level to achieve the Golden Egg. Another tough one.

Egg 8: At the 4-7 level from “Mighty Hoax” there’s an egg on top of the mound (right side of the screen). Hit it with a Yellow Bird.

Egg 9: The 5-19 level at "Mighty Hoax" hides the egg out of the screen on the right side of the level. Zoom out and throw a yellow bird to that point and you should see it when the screen moves. To catch it, you can use the Yellow bird or the White bird to drop a bomb on the first tower to hit that height and get the Golden Egg. It’s easier with the Yellow Bird.

Egg 10: While selecting levels at "Danger Above", keep dragging the last screen of levels until the Golden Egg appears and then you can touch it.

Egg 11: Complete the entire "Danger Above" with 3 stars in all levels to unlock the Golden Egg. Tough times are here again.

Egg 12: Go to"Danger Above", level 6-14.  See that frigging yellow balloon? Try to reach it with the Boomerang Bird, but the bouncin’ wond’rous Yellow Bird is your best hope.

Egg 13: At "Danger Above", level 8-15, the egg is located directly below the launch pad. Launch a Yellow or a Boomerang bouncing at the mattressed wall.

Egg 14: If you can complete "The Big Setup" game, you will achieve a Golden Egg. Godspeed.

Egg 15: Meanwhile, at level 9-14 of the same game, there is a Golden Egg away from the camera. Zoom out and use the boomerang bird to catch it.

Egg 16: Watch out for the duck under the bridge at Level 10-3 of the “Big Setup” game! The duck has the Golden Egg!

Egg 17:  At Level 11-5 of the “Big Setup” game, the Golden Egg is conveniently located down the left side of the screen below the launch pad. Zoom out to view it and then use (somehow) the Boomerang Bird to catch it.

Egg 18: At level 12-12 from "Ham’em High" you will need all of your cunning to destroy the trophy that lies under the two piles of jewels in the middle of the structure. There is the Golden Egg.

Egg 19: Level 13-10, game "Ham’em High." There is an egg at the right side, away from the screen. You will get it with a White Bird propelling itself with throwing an egg.

Egg 20: At level 13-12 from "Ham’em High", this Golden Egg is kinda sneaky. To get it, you should zoom out and launch a White Bird backwards and then throw an egg on that side of the small hill.

Go ahead and enjoy. Aaaaa-júaa!!

Today is "Ed Balls Tweet" Day!

Some UK politician couldn't never imagine that a tweet in which he accidentally wrote only his name, could get a life on its own. Now, it's Ed Balls day and the twittersphere is celebrating by tweeting and retweeting, again and again "Ed Balls."

Remembers a little that Dexter's Laboratory episode "The Big Cheese", huh? Omelette du fromage, indeed.

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Late-April Demotivational Mememania!

We definitively like memes. For a generation with Internet-conditioned ADHD, nothing like an image with a caption. Humor, political editorial, social commentary... ALL in one picture. Maybe news will look like this with time. In the meanwhile please enjoy this new batch of original memes from jokerized.cheezburger.com:

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Dear reproductive rights-activists: Stop pretending Kermit Gosnell is invisible

Kermit Gosnell led a filthy abortion clinic in Philadelphia: this is not a moral judgment; it is an official investigation in-site finding. With dirty instruments spreading veneral diseases and cats freely circulating in the facility, this is absolutely not your typical treatment center. BTW, we all know by now that pro-choicers want a world in which reproductive health centers become considered just another health service, while pro-lifers fight the very existence of those.

That aside, consider this: Kermit Gosnell delivered hundreds of intact fetuses, only to use scissors on them after they were born. We are talking about infanticide, not interruption of pregnancy, because some of these “procedures” were performed even in the third trimester.

If Kermit Gosnell were recruiting children by force to fight for him in his petty war, somebody would have shot a video to denounce him on all the existing social networks.

If Kermit Gosnell were raping a teenager and posting pictures of his despicable immoral behavior online, Anonymous would have stepped into the fight to put him behind bars.

If Kermit Gosnell were using kids as cheap labor resource to produce sneakers or electronic appliances, dozens of NGO’s would be calling for a complete boycott of his products and a boycott of those who dared to collaborate with him.

If Kermit Gosnell were molesting children behind a confessionary, he and his institution wouldn’t have been given a minute of rest. All the media would have been hounding him until he gave up and confessed.

But no, Kermit Gosnell is a doctor that specialized in abortions. That is why a huge media blackout about his trial and antecedents is in effect up to this day. In a regrettable miscalculation, reproductive right specialists and activists, not to mention the media and the politicians think the “better path” is not to cover the trial, fearing that if they do so, the pro-choice cause will lose its support. 

A gross mistake. By making sure that no mainstream media outlet will talk about "Grossnell", the only thing they will achieve is that shady professionals, always eager for a quick, easy buck, will take all the advantages of minority women, which are the sole clients of these criminals. The impoverished women will keep on receiving scary “health” services; in a nutshell, you are abandoning the very people you are trying to defend.

For me, it is still about Mr. Gosnell, a very dedicated disciple of the Alberto Giubilini and Francesca Minerva school of thought: there is no difference between infanticide and abortion.

Everybody is claiming to have the moral high ground on the pro-life/pro-choice debate. You cannot claim it by hiding, shutting up and pretending that Kermit Gosnell is an invisible man.

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Is the European Union insanity incurable? - Don't answer that.

Europe's current look.

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein

From: For a European Republic, by Ulrike Guérot and Robert Menasse, Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung.

The European heads of state and governments are sitting in a burning house haggling over the total sum they will have to rustle up for the water damages from putting out the fire. The reproach that they have lost contact with the citizens doesn’t ring true: the fact is, they never had any to start with. The system we live in neither provides for nor admits any legitimate representation for the citizens of Europe. 

Whoever makes “democratically legitimate” policy at the European level – that is, who has been elected to do so – has come into that position only through national elections and must, to survive politically, defend the fiction of “national interests”. Whoever today at the summits of the European Council always obstructs Community interests to win the approval of the national electorates harms all the others – and, considering how interlocked the nations are within the European single market and the eurozone, harms his own. 

I once had great hopes invested in the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung invested. A newspaper so serious that it never used photographs in its first page when it was the standard practice. And yet I begin to read the note by noticing that the authors acknowledged that the current European Union deepest flaw was the lack of representativeness. A bunch of unelected, unaccountable bureaucrats in Brussels dictate to 493 million people how they will live, and always get away with it. 

Otherwise, the Euro project wouldn’t have been advanced in spite of the doom forewarnings that became true. The smart guys in the European room might have realized that the economic collapse with such an arrangement was inevitable, as it would be inevitable the proposed “fix”: a fiscal union, something closely resembling the French-and-Dutch-rejected constitution for the United States of Europe. The repudiation sent such intense shockwaves along the members of the EU, that no more referendums were held after these, leaving Austria, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Italy, Lithuania, Slovakia, Slovenia, Luxembourg and Spain completely flat. Of these countries, Greece, Italy and Spain are experiencing the worst crisis since the UE started. The water is boiling, but they insist to keep their hands in the heat. 

And that’s precisely the solution proposed by authors Ulrike Guérot and Robert Menasse: to “pay attention to the dreamers” and proceed with full steam to install a European Republic, i.e. keep the euro currency, implant a fiscal union and abolish all the nation states that conform the Union. 

Insanity...

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